Despite months of training back home in Austin, trekking the Camino de Santiago was harder than I expected.  I was always at the back of our group.  On the second day hiking from Roncesvalles, France to Pamplona, Spain, at around mile twelve, I stood at the bottom of a shale hill that looked vertical! I was tired and frustrated. I looked back at my husband, Erik.  “I don’t think I can do this.”

Always the can-do optimist, he hugged me.  “You’ve always done everything you set your mind to.” With that, he popped my behind and said, “Get moving.  Tackle that hill.  I’ll wait down here.”

Our guide, Diego, who had walked with us for the first six miles, told me that taking small steps would make the trek manageable for me, and to ignore the pace of the other pilgrims.  Leaning forward, one slow step at a time, using walking poles, I crawled up that hill.  

Plenty of other hikers were running up that slope, all greeting me with ‘Buen Camino’ as they passed.  Out of breath, I could barely respond back with the greeting. It took me twenty minutes to make it up that hill.  Twenty minutes!

When I got to the top, Erik shouted out a “Hooray” and snapped the picture below.  

“See what you just did.  If you can make it up that hill, you can make it through the decision to retire.”

I was crying.  I’d started crying at the bottom of the hill, but by the time I reached the top it was the kind of crying where snot was running down my lip.  Ugh.  I don’t cry, so this ticked me off.  And he had hit a nerve with the retirement comment.

Often, people start their Camino with specific intentions, issues to resolve or losses to mourn.  Those who walk the Camino say the experience is life-altering. 

My intention was to challenge myself both physically and spiritually.  And to think about whether I could retire after a 40-year corporate career and give up that identity and security.  I needed to reset my view of my purpose in life if I was going to retire and move to my “next chapter”.  

My identity became clear after eleven days and one-hundred twenty-eight miles on the Camino and many other challenging hills during our trek. I needed to move on.  It was time to explore the world with Erik, and to return to my creative side. 

Now retired, Erik and I have started our first big adventure for two and a half months in Italy, France, Spain, and Morocco.   I plan to share the journey of my next chapter in this blog, and I hope you will be inspired along the way. We all have multiple exciting chapters waiting to be written!

Buen Camino!